Healing Codependency

According to the Merriam Webster definition of codependency, it is “a psychological condition or a relationship in which a person manifesting low self-esteem and a strong desire for approval has an unhealthy attachment to another person and places the needs of that person before his or her own.”

Codependents often connect with people who are struggling with substance abuse disorders in order to give their lives “purpose” by attempting to take care of or fix that individual.

Breaking the Cycle of Codependency

The cycle of codependency can be damaging to everyone involved, as it enables the addicted person to continue using without some of the usual consequences. At the same time, the codependent feels like they are failing their job as a lover, mother, father, etc.

There are various ways to heal codependency, but perhaps none is a better option than healing on the beautiful Hawaiian beaches at Exclusive Hawaiian Rehab. They offer holistic approaches to alcohol, drug, and mental health rehabilitation, and are a perfect choice for anyone suffering in a codependent relationship.

Read our guide to the topic to understand more about this complex mental health issue, and how it is treated effectively.

What is Codependency

What is Codependency

As discussed in the dictionary definition of codependency, the state of being codependent can be described as the opposite of a healthy relationship in many ways. Despite how severe it can become, many people question whether codependency is a real diagnosis.

The answer is an emphatic yes; codependency does need its own diagnosis due to its uniqueness, especially when dealing with addicts and alcoholics.

There may be codependents who do not have an alcoholic or addict in their life but can be extremely codependent through other issues and problems. Either on its own or entwined in addictive behaviors, codependent behavior can damage adult relationships to a great degree.

Experience True Healing

Our deeply-caring staff and the surrounding natural beauty offer an unparalleled healing experience.

What are the Signs of a Codependent Relationship

There are many different factors that play into a codependent relationship. Some are much harder to determine than others. Let’s review a few of the details of codependent behavior that can be symptoms of a codependent relationship.

From clinical studies we see that changes in the perception of women’s role, and the emergence of substance abuse in the family often play a role in the development of codependency. Unfortunately, codependency is often unrecognized and a definite starting point can be tough to identify.

Often, those suffering from codependency visit the hospital or other parts of the health care system with stress-related or depressive symptoms, or even addictive disorders, which can obscure the root cause.


Too often, those suffering from emotional abuse or other forms of fallout from dysfunctional relationships will only receive treatment based on symptoms, such as medication. This form of treatment fails to address underlying causes and does not help anyone break free from the cycles of codependency that evolve.

The Evolution of Codependency Theory

Originally, codependency was created as a term for women who took care of their alcoholic husbands, but that definition has changed greatly and for good reason. Medical professional often note that codependency can travel across generations and ruin entire families when it manifests untreated.

Sometimes children become codependent on their absent mother or father, or a father can become codependent with regard to his drinking wife. The more we learn and understand codependency in someone’s life, the easier it is to treat and manage.

Emotional health and a return to healthy relationships is the goal for anyone involved in codependent relationships, and it can be achieved.

Connections Between Codependency and Addiction

Signs of a Codependent Relationship

According to the latest research, the depression that comes along with codependency can arrive regardless of whether drugs or alcohol are being used. No matter the exact circumstances of the codependent person, healthy relationship does not involve reliance on other people’s feelings for success.

With regard to addiction alongside a codependent relationship, it can often evolve as a form of self-medication, where the person suffering can view their drinking or drug use as a perverse form of self care. Addiction or alcoholism alongside codependent behavior is even more common when the mental health of one or both people has been an issue.

No matter whether your own needs have been considered in trying to heal from codependency, or not, their are effective techniques for codependency recovery. With or without Alcoholics Anonymous or other outside support organizations, there are tools and emotional support resources that can help heal from codependency.

These things can be taught and learned at Exclusive Hawaii Rehab on the Big Island. It may take the chemically dependent partner to enter recovery, or in some cases the person with codependency might have to change their ways and maybe eventually leave the relationship.

The staff and expert clinicians at Exclusive Hawaii Rehab can help you and your partner determine the best ways you can both be happy, flourishing individuals. Over the course of your treatment at their gorgeous holistic facility, you will learn many ways to heal from codependency.

Experience True Healing

Our deeply-caring staff and the surrounding natural beauty offer an unparalleled healing experience.

Toxic Codependency and Abuse

There is a point when codependency crosses a line and becomes toxic codependency. This occurs when the chemically dependent person begins to become violent and puts the codependent in danger.

This can be the result of letting the chemically dependent person push and push until they reach a point that any time the answer is not what they want to hear, they may get so appalled, so angry at the thought of you actually saying no to them, they may become violent.

Toxic Codependency and Abuse

This study shows the direct correlation between women living with chemically addicted men and their behavior changing negatively due to that fact, however not every woman who was involved with a chemically dependent man fell into the traps of codependency.

It becomes more toxic for certain women, with certain traits, that can be measured scientifically.

To discuss these things with a professional, I highly suggest giving Exclusive Hawaii Rehab a call to determine if treatment is right for you and your significant other.

How Can I Start Healing Codependency

Healing codependency can be a painful and drawn-out process. It may even include needing to separate from your partner for a period of time while they begin to work on their chemical dependency issues.

Published back in 1990, a nurse named Linda J Arnold posted in the AORN journal about healing from codependency.

In it she writes, “Change is not easy. It takes time and involves the following four steps: Completely stopping using and drinking is the first step to helping fix codependency. Bring your attention back to yourself rather than the person with whom you have become codependent, Put your feelings, emotions, wants, and needs above the individual who is attempting to make a codependent out of you.

You learn to meet those needs in healthy ways. Perfect abstinence or sobriety isn’t necessary for progress, and it’s impossible with respect to codependency with people. Depending on others for their opinions on codependency will help immensely in relationships. Become more self-directed and autonomous.”

Awareness and Emotional Health in Codependency Recovery

Awareness is key, and a lack of it is often the hallmark of codependency. Being aware of boundaries in intimate relationships can be a huge factor in keeping them healthy. Remaining ignorant of the self-care tactics and how to take care of yourself in adult relationships is another sign of a codependent person in general.

All these traits can lead to low self-esteem. To reverse these destructive states, you can learn to be self-sufficient in ways that build esteem and awareness at once.

Acceptance and How to Set Boundaries in Relationships

Healing for codependent persons essentially involves self-acceptance. This is not as simple as flipping a switch but forms a lasting and ongoing part of life.

People often attend therapy and even rehab to change themselves, not realizing that the work is about accepting themselves and their own choices. It may seem strange, but before you can change, you have to accept the situation. Then the path to start recovering becomes possible.

Acceptance is the foundation, then change can begin to occur and self-worth begins to become a concept that can be embraced.

How to Set Boundaries in Relationships

Embracing Self for Codependency Recovery

Brand new thoughts and energy arise from self-esteem that was once wounded. For instance, when you feel miserable or self-critical, embrace yourself instead. Realize that you have self-empathy, relieve yourself, and do whatever it takes to feel self-awareness in a positive way.

Self-acknowledgment implies that you don’t need to satisfy everybody out of fear. This altruism toward yourself permits you to heal from codependency without taking all things personally.

Your confidence and certainty will develop, and you will reject emotional abuse and spend time with those worthy of your presence. Rather than controlling, you become more credible and emphatic and are equipped with self-confidence. Your self-care develops and becomes more of a habit than a chore. Internalizing your worth can combat your codependency very effectively indeed!

Experience True Healing

Our deeply-caring staff and the surrounding natural beauty offer an unparalleled healing experience.

Actions to Promote Self-Worth and Embrace Happiness

All the knowledge you have learned can only take you so far without being put into practice.

To fully heal from codependency, your skills of mindfulness and self-acknowledgment should be strengthened by new ways of being with others. This implies facing challenges and realizing that people’s problems are not your own.

The methods will be your own, but they might include inner child work, starting a new hobby without consulting anyone you know, or taking a short trip to renew your focus.

Rather than anticipating that others should address every one of your issues and satisfy you, you figure out how to make moves to meet them, and do things that give you satisfaction and fulfillment in your life.

Promote Self-Worth and Embrace Happiness

Challenges as a Way Toward Healing Codependency

You will notice that each time you evaluate a new way of behaving or facing a challenge, you gain some new useful sense of yourself and your struggle and focus. It is a process of discovery, or reinvention if you prefer. In healing from codependency, you get to choose your boundaries and what makes your happiness a reality.

Even your words and choice of words can be thought of and reconsidered. They have power and will help mirror your newfound confidence. Your recovery will involve drawing certain lines and making healthy boundaries as you explore and start processing feelings you may not have even known you had.

In choosing to heal from codependency, you start recovering from whatever caused you to lose touch with yourself, and embrace both setting boundaries and your authentic self. While the ride can be a bit bumpy, it is one worth embracing and worthy of your full support.

Most people might not realize or respect just how difficult it can be to put aside other people’s problems and focus on yourself, but it is a huge opportunity and can remake the world in powerful ways.

Choosing Holistic Rehab for Your Whole Health

A diagnosis of codependency can be extremely complex and even confusing at first. You can rest assured that Exclusive Hawaii Rehab has the experts who will be able to not only diagnose the issues surrounding your life but will help you walk through the struggle and challenges that accompany recovery.

If you and your loved one suspect codependency, or one of you is using drugs or drinking alcoholically, calling Exclusive Hawaii Rehab can help you both find solutions and get back on the path to happiness.

If you are afraid of taking this step alone, we understand and will be with you the whole way. Take this article as a sign that you can get the support you need and deserve. Don’t delay your recovery, reach out to our Intake Coordination staff today to discuss availability and schedule your journey to wellness now!