Quitting 12-Step Programs When You Realize You Want Something Else
The co-founder of Alcoholics Anonymous (A.A.), Bill Wilson, famously said, “To the world, you may be one person, but to one person, you may be the world. Let us always love the best in others – and never fear their worst.” The 12-Step program that Bill Wilson cofounded has gone on to help millions of people and their families recover over the past 90 years. It continues to do so today. However, 12-Step recovery is not for everyone, and even Bill Wilson never claimed to hold a monopoly over recovery. The bottom line is that there are many ways to recover. However, the key is finding the way that works best for you.
Quitting 12-Step Programs When You Realize You Want Something Else
Many people actually have adverse reactions to 12-Step recovery because they worry that it is something that you cannot quit once you start. People fear that it has some type of “cult-like” qualities. This could not be further from the truth. People are free to come and go from 12-Step recovery programs as they please. There are no registration or financial requirements ever.
Many people also worry that they may join 12-Step recovery when they don’t really have a problem. One, the reality is that if you are investigating recovery options, there is a good chance that there is an issue going on. Two, 12-Step recovery even states that if you enter a 12-Step program and you are not convinced that you belong, you can go back out and try and control your alcohol and substance use on your own. In most instances, people will realize that they are indeed struggling with a disease of mind, body, and soul that is out of their control. And, yes, addiction is a disease.
According to the National Institute on Drug Abuse (NIDA), “Addiction is defined as a chronic, relapsing disorder characterized by compulsive drug seeking and use despite adverse consequences. It is considered a brain disorder because it involves functional changes to brain circuits involved in reward, stress, and self-control. Those changes may last a long time after a person has stopped taking drugs.” However, regardless of the disease nature of addiction or not, anyone is free to choose their own form of recovery. This includes engaging with and then disengaging from 12-Step recovery.
Better Understanding 12-Step Programs
Roughly 90 years ago, two men got together and determined that there were only two ways that they were going to be able to overcome their addiction. One way was to help another person struggling with addiction, two was to connect with a Higher Power greater than themselves. These two men were Bill Wilson and Dr. Robert Holbrook Smith, the two cofounders of A.A. Their program has since branched into the arena of numerous types of addiction, such as Narcotics Anonymous (N.A.) and Cocaine Anonymous (C.A.), and continues to help countless people recover.
12-Step recovery utilizes what are known as the Twelve Steps to help individuals admit that they have a problem, accept help for that problem, and take action to address their problems. These Twelve Steps are often completed in order with the help of a sponsor. A sponsor is someone who has some time in recovery, who is familiar with the Twelve Steps and can help guide a “newcomer” through them.
Part of 12-Step programs also includes group-level work. There are thousands of 12-Step groups all over the world. With the surge in Zoom meetings, there is now an opportunity to tune into a 12-Step meeting 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. These groups ensure that there is a place for people to go to practice the Twelve Steps and discuss the problems that they have with alcohol and substances (and beyond).
The Origins of 12-Step Programs
12-Step programs came along at a time when there were very few solutions for individuals who were struggling with what we know now as alcohol use disorder (AUD) and substance use disorder (SUD). Also, these options were not very pleasant. One common “cure” for addiction in the early 20th Century was to perform a lobotomy. Another very regular act was to place someone who was struggling with addiction in a sanitarium. Luckily, that is no longer the case today, and 12-Step programs have a lot to thank for that.
It is also important to note that 12-Step recovery stemmed from a religious program; specifically, it has its roots in Christianity. This group was known as the Oxford Group. However, 12-Step recovery no longer promotes any specific sect or denomination of religion. Also, while it does consider itself a spiritual program, it does not require any of its members to embrace that spirituality component. In actuality, there are many atheist members in 12-Step recovery.
This is also why they no longer refer to a spiritual entity as “God,” but rather a Higher Power of one’s own understanding. It is a wholly inclusive recovery program. Now, that being said, there is evidence that shows that those who choose a spiritual path have a greater success rate within 12-Step recovery. This includes across all types of 12-Step recovery.
Different Types of 12-Step Programs
Now, as previously mentioned, there are many types of 12-Step recovery programs. This includes programs that focus on alcohol and other substances like A.A., N.A., and C.A., as well as programs that focus on behavioral or process addictions like gambling addiction, sex addiction, online shopping addiction, and gaming addiction. There are also 12-Step programs that focus on the family.
Al-Anon and Alateen are programs that were created specifically to help the family recover. According to their official website, “Al‑Anon is a mutual support program for people whose lives have been affected by someone else’s drinking. By sharing common experiences and applying the Al-Anon principles, families and friends of alcoholics can bring positive changes to their individual situations, whether or not the alcoholic admits the existence of a drinking problem or seeks help. Alateen, a part of the Al-Anon Family Groups, is a fellowship of young people (mostly teenagers) whose lives have been affected by someone else’s drinking, whether they are in your life drinking or not.”
The Benefits of 12-Step Programs
Now, the reality is that all types of 12-Step programs offer many benefits for recovery. They can help people feel less alone, introduce essential life skills, connect people with similar stories and trajectories, and reduce the potential for relapse.
Many people also find that 12-Step programs help them with other aspects of their lives. They find that they are more productive at work, more successful at school, and have better relationships at home. Many people have also found that becoming members of a 12-Step program has helped them with legal troubles. A number of court systems now mandate attendance at 12-Step meetings as part of sentencing or in place of harsher punishments.
Many people find that the biggest benefit of 12-Step recovery is their newfound or rekindled relationship with spirituality. Again, this is not a requirement of 12-Step recovery. For those who do embrace the spiritual component, they tend to find a greater sense of serenity and peace in their recovery. But, again, 12-Step recovery is not for everyone, or at least more “traditional” 12-Step recovery is not for everyone.
Alternatives to 12-Step Programs
Perhaps the biggest hang-up to 12-Step recovery is its spiritual component or its perceived Christian spiritual component. For people struggling with this, there are many secular recovery options. The most popular two are SMART Recovery and Recovery Dharma.
SMART Recovery offers a more pragmatic approach to recovery and sobriety. According to their official website, “SMART Recovery is an evidence-informed recovery method grounded in Rational Emotive Behavioral Therapy (REBT) and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), that supports people with substance dependencies or problem behaviors to build and maintain motivation, cope with urges and cravings, manage thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, [and] live a balanced life.” Ultimately it is a more “scientific” approach to recovery. It should also be noted that they recommend utilizing SMART Recovery with other modalities of recovery.
On that note, it is important to understand that the best recovery models often utilize many means, methods, and modalities. This is whether one engages with 12-Step recovery or not. However, most professionals agree that the foundation of any effective recovery plan should be based on evidence-based practices.
A Focus on Evidence-Based Modalities
Perhaps the most common type of evidence-based modality is psychotherapy. These are psychotherapies like the aforementioned CBT, dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), and eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR) therapy. Now, these therapies also work particularly well with community recovery programs because they both play off of each other to allow an individual to be more open and honest.
EMDR has been shown to be particularly beneficial for individuals struggling with underlying issues of trauma, which is very common for individuals with AUD and SUD. According to The Permanente Journal, “Twenty-four randomized controlled trials support the positive effects of EMDR therapy in the treatment of emotional trauma and other adverse life experiences relevant to clinical practice. Seven of 10 studies reported EMDR therapy to be more rapid and/or more effective than trauma-focused cognitive behavioral therapy. Twelve randomized studies of the eye movement component noted rapid decreases in negative emotions and/or vividness of disturbing images, with an additional 8 reporting a variety of other memory effects.”
Another evidence-based therapy that has been gaining traction is ketamine-assisted psychotherapy (KAP). KAP can be particularly helpful for individuals struggling with depression. According to the Indian Journal of Psychiatry, “[A] single dose of ketamine has rapid action on depressive symptoms, and this action persists even for a week, which suggests its possible role in neuroplasticity. Many studies showed remission of depressive symptoms 1 week postinfusion. A recent meta-analysis showed antidepressant efficacy from day 1 in patients with unipolar and bipolar depression.”
Utilizing a Multi-Angled Approach to Recovery
As previously mentioned, a multi-angled approach to recovery is often the most effective. This is because a recovery plan that utilizes multiple methods and modalities has a greater chance of hitting all of the key markers that need to be addressed to recover at the cellular level.
Now, this is also known as a holistic approach. Many people shy away from the term “holistic” because they feel that it is solely associated with Eastern medicine and alternative practices. This is simply not the case. Holistic simply means “whole.” So, holistic healing simply means whole mind-body healing, which is a focus on all aspects of the capital “S” Self. This is a focus on healing physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. One way to address all of these components is to engage in nature-based experiential therapies.
Utilizing Experiential Therapy Options
There is now little doubt that connecting with the world around us can make us feel more engaged and involved in our lives. For many of us, we lived highly isolated lives in active addiction. Nature-based experiential therapies like nature immersion therapy can help with this. It is also an ideal alternative for those looking for something other than 12-Step recovery.
Nature immersion therapy also offers a myriad of benefits. According to the International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health, “Besides improvements to physical and psychological well-being, exposure to natural environments has been shown to bring about positive impacts on cognitive functioning…. While cognitive restoration and physiological well-being are the prominent and renowned benefits of nature exposure, there is one important construct that is often overlooked in environmental psychology research studies – that is, the human-nature relationship, also known as connectedness to nature (CN).”
More good news is that achieving this “CN” is very possible here at Exclusive Hawaii Rehab™. That is because we are located in one of the most amazing places on earth, the Hamakua Coast of Hawaii’s Big Island. Here, one can see some of the most amazing natural landmarks around, including amazing waterfalls, outstanding outlooks, beautiful beaches, and even a live volcano. There is also a great opportunity to enjoy the Pacific Ocean by swimming and/or engaging with surf therapy. You may also want to get your hands dirty on our 30-acre luxury property as you participate in the highly beneficial horticulture therapy.
It Takes a Village: Working With Others in Recovery
Another critical component of recovery is working with others. After all, recovery is a “We” program and never a “Me” program. Working with others is so important that the primary text of 12-Step recovery (also known as the Big Book) named a chapter after it – “Working With Others.”
The chapter states, “Practical experience shows that nothing will so much ensure immunity from drinking [and using] as intensive work with other [people in recovery]. It works when other activities fail…. You can help when no one else can.” Working with others can actually reduce the chances of a relapse. It is an amazing phenomenon. Connecting with others also offers an essential sense of purpose and accountability to one’s recovery. Lastly, it simply makes recovery more fun. The more we open up to the world, the more we discover the incredible opportunities that the world has to offer.
Healing at the Cellular Level With Exclusive Hawaii Rehab™
Here at Exclusive Hawaii Rehab™, we believe in long-term success over short-term “fixes.” That is why all of our recovery plans are individualized and comprehensive, with a focus on the future. This includes plans both with and without the inclusion of 12-Step recovery. We believe that personalized experiences are how we can best help our clients heal at the cellular level.
If you are sick and tired of being sick and tired, then the time to recover is now. You can do this! We can help.
Many people join 12-Step recovery and discover that it is not the right form of treatment for them. This is okay. There are many other effective non-12-Step forms of recovery. Additionally, it is important to know that one can utilize 12-Step recovery with other treatments. The key is to focus on what works for the individual and avoid “cookie cutter” recovery. If you feel like you or a loved one is struggling with issues of addiction, mental illness, or both, we can help get you on the right road to recovery right away. You don’t have to go through this process alone. For more information about effective recovery options, please reach out to Exclusive Hawaii Rehab™ today at (808) 775-0200.